A Pairing With Punch
MARCH 22, 2015
Minna Minhwa Kao and Paul Gerard Heck were married Saturday at the Queen of All Saints Church in Brooklyn. The Rev. Joseph A. Ceriello, a Roman Catholic priest, performed the ceremony.
The bride, 40, is an associate account executive in Manhattan with the sales division of Ralsey Group, a sweater division of the retailer Li & Fung of Hong Kong.
She graduated from the University of Texas and received an associate degree in fashion design from Parsons the New School for Design. She is the daughter of Ching-Yu Kao and Ching-Nan Kao of Houston.
The groom, 47, works in Manhattan as an independent music and film producer, creating online videos for corporate clients, brands and arts institutions. He was the music supervisor for two documentaries, including the 2012 movie “How to Survive a Plague,’’ about the early years of the AIDS epidemic and the groups that sought to bring attention to it. Mr. Heck has also produced several albums for the Red Hot AIDS benefit series, including Red Hot & Arthur Russell, released by Yep Roc Records last October. He is producing a concert for the series in tribute to the late Mr. Russell in May at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. He graduated from Brown.
He is the son of the late Margaret Heck and the late Arthur C. Heck, who lived in Manahawkin, N.J.
The couple were introduced in January 2013 through the dating site OKCupid after he became intrigued by photos of her doing muay Thai kickboxing and another of her designing a wedding dress for a friend.
“She was a great beauty,” he said, adding that “she looked more like a fighter when she was a designer and more giggly holding up her boxing gloves.”
A week later, they met for brunch near her Brooklyn apartment. Ms. Kao said his “long, beautifully written emails” had captivated her, but face to face he was “shy, quiet and sweet,” which put the conversation in her lap.
When she had hugged him hello, she noticed that he was reading a biography ofArthur Russell, which was part of his research for the album featuring the music of the cellist, who died from complications of AIDS.
Mr. Heck’s work fighting AIDS made her even more interested in getting to know him. She was glad to continue the date when he asked her to show him around the neighborhood.
“Time went by without me realizing it,” she said, and he opened up more as they walked for hours in the cold, through Prospect Park and back to a wine bar in Fort Greene.
After six hours, Mr. Heck realized he had another commitment that evening and apologized for having to leave. “It felt like two and a half dates in one,” he said. “So I grabbed her and kissed her.’’
“It was an incredible start,” he said. “It struck me as prophetic that Minna’s birthday was Dec. 1, which also happens to be World AIDS Day. I had been considering stopping my work with Red Hot’s AIDS benefit series — 22 years had been a long haul. And now this incredible person comes into my life with that birthday, it seemed like more than a coincidence.”
After another couple of dates, however, she put on the brakes, at least for the next six weeks, as she trained intensely for a muay Thai tournament in Virginia. It meant getting up at 6 a.m., running up to five miles daily, conditioning and sparring at the gym and a strict diet.
“She thought I’d lose interest, but it increased it and my respect for her,’’ he said.
To her amazement, he insisted on driving her to the tournament, and he waited for hours as she watched teammates compete, waiting her turn. When they returned to New York, their relationship became more serious.
“I changed my focus,’’ she said. “Competing in muay Thai was a hobby, and this was my life. I really wanted to build our relationship together.”
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